12 Types of Men

Relationships are hard. When you first started dating, everything seems great. Some people don’t even show their true selves in the first few months. Or some ladies are so blinded by love, they refuse to (or can’t) see what is there. After being in a relationship for some time, things start to get real. Especially when you start having kids, mortgage issues, pressure at work, problem with the in-laws etc. During the tough times, that’s then you can see the real person coming through. Are you attracted to or in a relationship of any of these type of men? What’s the good and bad news?

1. Mr Popular

I am sure everyone has encountered this type. I have met a few. Most women are attracted to this kind. Easy going, easy to talk to, funny – makes you laugh. Everyone gets along well with Mr Popular.

The Good News

  • Fun, fun, fun – there is a reason why he is called Mr Popular – he is never boring, usually very funny
  • Great social circle – He is usually outgoing and goes out often – hanging out, networking. (Hopefully with you in the picture).

The Bad News

  • Competition –  Beware – if this is your man, what attracts you to him attracts all other women too
  • He is a ‘Player’ – (Sometimes, not all the time) – Mr Popular can also be a ‘player’. With so many people who thinks you’re cool to be around with, well – you know what that can do to a guy’s ego…

2. Mr Ambitious

He knows what he wants and is not afraid to go out there and get it. He is very driven, you don’t have to do all the worrying about the future in the relationship.

The Good News

  • Secured future – there is a high chance, he will get there and that should ease your mind about where you are heading together. It won’t just be you pulling the weight in the relationship
  • Stability – He has clear goals and ways to get there, so less disruptions like silly flings etc that will interfere with his plans

The Bad News

  • Women love ambitious men –  Yeap its like a magnet – the smell of success. Lots of challenges coming your way – well if he makes it that is. 
  • Loneliness – It can get quite lonely, he is so driven that he may end up cancelling date nights, shortening family vacations or not even have one
  • Is he resilient enough? – Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it takes forever to get there. Some people strive so hard to be on the top, they get frustrated and bitter when things don’t work out. Some people fall many times and will pick themselves up. But if your man has always had it easy – he may struggle when dealing with disappointment and that could impact you too.

3. Mr I'm-The-Boss

This is the kind of man who thinks that he puts the bread on the table, so everything he says goes. The ‘I-know-better’ man who must have the final say. Some can also be selfish. Well thats how it is at work isn’t it? You have the bad bosses, and the good ones. Hopefully if your man falls under this type – he is actually one of the good ones.

The Good News

  • No need to think so hard – At the end of the day, he decides anyway. So you don’t have to do much thinking or worrying. You just need to ‘Let It Go’ – no point arguing if you can’t convince him the first few rounds. Plus if he is the more ‘sensible and forward looking’, then maybe good to let him decide. The money you want to spend on the Chanel bag may be best to be used to fix the leak on the roof. 
  • No money worries – Most of the time, this kind of man will foot all the bills (or most of the big ticket items anyway). No need to feel guilty there. Enjoy the good and forget the bad.

The Bad News

  • Low self esteem –  If you are not comfortable not having control or not being the decision maker, you probably will feel down after a while especially if he is paying for everything and keeps reminding you of that fact.
  • Unhappy – Unless you are Ms Super Positive, there will be times when the decision made will have a negative effect on you. For example what if on those special holidays, he decides that you both will spend days at his family’s place and hardly any time for yours. If this is a recurring theme, you may feel unhappy and resentment towards him later on.
  • Bossy but ‘no meat in it’ – (just came up with that). Anyway – if your man is simply bossy (because he is THE man) and wants to be the decision maker for every darn thing, but you are paying more than your fair share of the bills, you may want to rethink this about taking the whole life journey together. 

4. Mr Perfectionist

This type wants everything done to a certain standard – (his standard of course) and will not hesitate to point out if you are not meeting it. (The truth is everyone has a certain standard, whether you’re a woman or a man. But some people are just a bit more sticky with their standards because that’s the way they have been brought up).

The Good News

  • You’ll have the perfect family, perfect house, perfect everything – (seems almost too good to be true)

The Bad News

  • Rigidity – Mr Perfectionist wants everything done in a certain way, and have certain expectations of you.
  • Stress – If he is too much of a perfectionist and you keep feeling that you are simply failing at every step, that relationship can be really stressful. It all boils down on the type of person you are when dealing with constant criticism

5. Mr Romantic

Mr Romantic worships the ground you walk on. He is the perfect gentleman – holds your hands when you go out, surprises you with thoughtful romantic gestures and gifts. Sounds too perfect – is there such a man? Yes – I have met them. They talk fondly about their wives – like their wives are the best things that ever happen to them. They write beautiful poems/stories dedicated to their wives on anniversaries – even post them on social media. Its NOT only in the movies.

The Good News

  • Fairytale life – isn’t that what every girl wants, to be treated like a Princess (although we still want the career, independence of course). But on the relationship side, you want to be the one that makes his world goes round. (Well most ladies – I should correct myself. It is not right to imply all women want that)

The Bad News

  • Mr sensitive – Mr Romantic can be borderline Mr Sensitive. He may over-think if you don’t return the gesture, forget birthdates etc. 

6. Mr I'm-A-Momma's-Boy

Whatever Mummy says, goes. This type will follow whatever the Mum says and she will have a big role in your relationship and married life. 

Pop Quiz: Would you consider Norman Bates a Momma’s boy?

The Good News

  • Sensitive/caring – Very sensitive to women’s feelings. If you are in Mum’s good books, you have it all.

The Bad News

  • Not helpful – Some of these type of men have also never lifted a finger to do housework and so on
  • Mummy is No 1 – If it’s between you and Mum, he probably sides with Mum.

7. Mr Darcy - The Emotionally Distant Guy

You never know what is on his mind. Is he happy or sad – is he angry? Is he feeling anything? Does he care? This is a guy who keeps it cool all the time – doesn’t share much intimate thoughts. Kind of remind you of Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. 

The Good News

  • Less competition – Women wants men who connect with them, so at least you know that he actually repels most women
  • He loves you – If he is not the type who dwells on emotional stuff, he is probably staying with you for the real deal. If he doesn’t care, he would probably just walk away

The Bad News

  • Loneliness – It can get quite lonely when you’re in a relationship with this kind of guy. You tend to look for emotional connect outside the relationship.
  • Frustration – Even Mr Darcy opens up at the end. If there is that constant barrier, unless you are super secured and don’t overthink, you may get frustrated not knowing where you are with him in the relationship. 

8. Mr Angry-All-The-Time

This is a guy who just loses his cool easily with everyone or people close to them over every little thing. Usually they get frustrated or stressed  easily and they just lash out when things don’t go their way. If it ever gets physical, you should break it off before you get too involved. 

The Good News

  • Is there one? Unless of course he wants to do better and get help, but as a partner you need to be able to handle the ‘heat’ in the mean time. And again – things ever get physical, LEAVE.

The Bad News

  • Fear – You get worried that you will trigger any outburst. It’s like walking on thin ice
  • Frustration and loneliness – Very likely you will avoid unnecessary conversations with him. How do you stay in a relationship where you only talk on safe topics.

9. Mr Negative

He overthinks every issue, every conversation or event. He always thinks of worst case scenario.

The Good News

  • Security – Very likely this person is very careful with everything especially money. So you will always have a roof on your head. He will not make rash decision like quitting his job, and dreaming to be a star on American Idol etc.
  • Sensitivity – He is probably a very sensitive partner – very much aware of his emotions and how his actions affect others and especially you

The Bad News

  • It rubs off – The world is already a challenging place, when you are surrounded by negativity, it can pull you down too. You need to be a strong and resilient partner to pull him, and yourself out of that dark place. But then again, if he is willing to work on his ‘weakness’, then perhaps it is worthwhile to invest in the relationship.
  • Uncertain future – there is such a thing as being too ‘safe’. If he is afraid to push himself, take chances, life will pass him by (you included). It will not be easy moving up in life if you start from the bottom. It will be a long journey – perhaps in the end you will get there but it will be a long one for sure.

10. Mr Self Involved

Just to note that there are some differences between a narcissist and a self involved person. A self involved man talks about himself a lot, he craves for attention and will try to bring himself into the conversation. But it is not so much to brag about his accomplishments or whatever but more to just get attention/focus. He can actually be a good listener and have some level of empathy.

The Good News

  • Good moral values – They usually have strong views on rules – what is right or wrong – like cutting queues etc. so you probably won’t be embarrassed by ‘inappropriate’ behaviours with him as a partner
  • Empathy – he may have some level of empathy – if you point out anything negative, he may genuinely be interesting in making changes and improvements

The Bad News

  • Frustrating – they can focus too much on themselves that you struggle to get them to notice your needs and wants without pointing it out every single time

11. Mr 'Player'

He is a smooth talker. He makes you feel special (too special), listen attentively all the time (too good to be true kind). He gets intimate too soon, and he doesn’t really make long term plans with you. He breaks promises and he doesn’t really bring you out to hang out with his close friends etc. He doesn’t seem eager to commit to be exclusive or go further than that. He also checks other ladies while he is out with you.

The Good News

  • Good match if you’re not interested in a long term relationship. Two can play that game.

The Bad News

  • Waste of time – it is unlikely he is interested in being in a proper relationship. So don’t bother if that is what you are after.

12. Mr Narcissist

Men of this type believes they are superior to others and will not be shy to highlight all the different reasons why they are. They will disregard your state of mind or your needs unless it would benefit them -ie. they want something from you!!! They lack empathy, they don’t feel remorse if they have done something wrong.

Narcissistic men are sometimes confused with self-absorbed men. Self absorbed men have moral values and some level of empathy – they just like to talk about themselves a lot. Narcissists feel they are above the moral code.

The Good News

  • None that I can think of. Some study does say true narcissism is a personality disorder but to address the problem, your partner will need to first admit that they have a problem that requires addressing and that is always the difficult part with narcissists. 

The Bad News

  • Self doubt/low self esteem – Narcissists will make you question yourself – sometimes you get compliments and praises, sometimes they put you down.
  •  Depression – Being in a relationship with a narcissist hurts you in the long run. 

So... where do you go from here?

There is no such thing as the perfect man. No such thing as the perfect woman either. The personality traits described here can also apply to women. You know yourself well enough to assess whether you can live with such characters, to work together to leverage each other’s strengths and work through the weaknesses.

Having said that, there are certain types of men that you probably should try to avoid – like the angry bully (especially if they ever get physical) and the narcissists who are just using you. 

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